The hidden ingredient in relationships...

Twenty years ago this week, I met my first love. It was my first year at college and I was a bright-eyed freshman. I wore my jeans jacket with a heart-shaped peace symbol pendant proudly displayed on the lapel. It was lunchtime, and we were in line at the Sandwich shop. I stood by myself behind his crowd of friends and we exchanged purposeful glances at each other. He walked over to me, and after a few quippy comments, a conversation ensued. He told me later it was my peace pendant that melted his heart. Before I knew it he was sitting beside me, eating sandwiches together.

He and I were together for a total of 7-1/2 years after that singular moment. The break up was difficult. We didn't talk for 5 years after. We still are in communication after all these years. Distance and time have mended all the wounds and tempered the feelings between us. He is married now with a child. He lives 12,000 miles away. Yesterday via email, he reminded me of our "20 year anniversary" of the day of our momentous meeting. He thanked me and wrote: "you played a very big role in my development and I thank you for the seven and a half years we shared together." I smiled on the inside. He sent me a beautiful and unadulterated wish: "...that you do find ...someone wonderful and deserving of your amazing warmth and passion for life." I smiled on the inside and out.

What are the critical ingredients of a successful relationship? What is it that makes a long term committment last? Is there such a thing as an effortless relationship? I will explore these topics and more in my upcoming blogs...